Nothing

Joel Chen

Collector and purveyor of art, design, furniture, and fashion to the most famous client list ever imagined.  He is as self-described hoarder, but you won’t find him on an episode of the disturbing show, instead, you find his myriad of homes graced in books and magazines.

I ask about giving the man who has four of everything of value ever made.

 Joel jokes: "I have 6."

I laugh. Of course, he does. I’ve been through his showrooms filled with pieces that have been lovingly restored by the Los Angeles County Museum of Art. Collections where the artist maybe made 8 pieces in 1968... Joel owns 6 of them. He has defined style for everyone and anyone with a discerning eye from Cary Grant and Frank Sinatra to the Kardashians and Beyoncé.

Later, I meet his wife, Margaret, who in fact has her own encyclopedic knowledge of fashion, sporting the latest from Issey Miake and recognizes my Dries Van Noten dress. 

I wonder about their giving habits and traditions. 

Joel: Actually, my wife never buys me anything. 

Margaret: Oh no, we never shop for each other.

How could one possibly gift the partner has everything with incomparable taste?

When two people agree and have their own unique desires there is no reason to partake in superficial gifts that will end in frustration or dissatisfaction.  I know several people in my life that would love to end giving to me given my particular specific wants, but somehow I still long for those attempts of being seen. I think tremendous grace can come with opting out of traditional forms of exchange, one I clearly haven’t achieved.